I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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