So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
