I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
