It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
