There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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