I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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