I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
