He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
