I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
