my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
