Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
