You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
