last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I can't turn off my feet"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
