Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
