i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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