So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
