Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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