These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
