I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize