Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
