If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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