thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
