I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
