you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
