so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize