I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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