I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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