Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You took a bar mat shot.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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