i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
