Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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