Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize