Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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