You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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