and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
