Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
