I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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