i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
