we're chasing vodka with high fives
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
