So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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