No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
