franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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