i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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