That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Even my vagina gasped.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
