We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
