He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
