how can u be prego again
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
