I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
how do flat chested girls get laid?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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