its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
