please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
