I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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