Me too!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
