1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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