Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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