The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
