That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
