My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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