I hate all girls vehemently.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
