so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
