So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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