Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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