Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
