just come out here and I will go home with you...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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