Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
