Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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