i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
