She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
