I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
