Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
