I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
