I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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