I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
