ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
