i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
