No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
