The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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