Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
