Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
