so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize