last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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